Rethinking Sex, Christine Emba
Rethinking Sex, Christine Emba
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Rethinking Sex
A Provocation

Author: Christine Emba

Narrator: Christine Emba

Unabridged: 5 hr 39 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Penguin Audio

Published: 03/22/2022


Synopsis

Part searing examination, part call to arms—a bold case against modern sexual ethics, from young Washington Post columnist Christine Emba.

For years now, modern-day sexual ethics has held that “anything goes” when it comes to sex—as long as everyone says yes, and does so enthusiastically. So why, even when consent has been ascertained, are so many of our sexual experiences filled with frustration, and disappointment, even shame?
 
The truth is that the rules that make up today’s consent-only sexual code may actually be the cause of our sexual malaise—not the solution. In Rethinking Sex, reporter Christine Emba shows how consent is a good ethical floor but a terrible ceiling. She spells out the cultural, historical, and psychological forces that have warped our idea of sex, what is permitted, and what is considered “safe.” In visiting critical points in recent years—from #MeToo and the Aziz Ansari scandal, to the phenomenal response to “Cat Person”—she reveals how a consent-only view of sex has hijacked our ability to form authentic and long-lasting connections, exposing us further to chronic isolation and resentment.
 
Reaching back to the wisdom of thinkers like Thomas Aquinas and Andrea Dworkin, and drawing from sociological studies, interviews with college students, and poignant examples from her own life, Emba calls for a more humane philosophy, one that starts with consent but accounts for the very real emotional, mental, social, and political implications of sex—even, she argues, if it means saying no to certain sexual practices or challenging societal expectations altogether.
 
More than a bold reassessment of modern norms, Rethinking Sex invites us to imagine what it means to will the good of others, and in turn, attain greater affirmation, fulfillment, and satisfaction for ourselves.
 

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About The Author

Christine Emba is a columnist for The Washington Post writing about ideas and society. Prior, she was the Hilton Kramer Fellow in Criticism at the New Criterion and a deputy editor at the Economist Intelligence Unit, focusing on technology and innovation.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Dorothy on April 12, 2022

I appreciated reading Emba's thoughts on how we as a culture might rethink the ways we practice, talk about, and understand sex. To be honest, as someone who believes that sex is meant to be pleasurable, healing, bonding, restorative, generative—and practiced within marriage—it was incredibly discou......more

Goodreads review by Jenna on March 23, 2022

If introspective “emotion-based” sex education could take the form of a book, Rethinking Sex would be the form I’d imagine. Though meandering and repetitive in part, the ideas it conveys are idealized and respond directly to where men and women have found ourselves to be in the here and now, post se......more

Goodreads review by kuhliterate on February 17, 2023

Reading RETHINKING SEX is like having your hand held and being told that yes, actually, you are right and the world is majorly fucked up. Christine Emba argues that the state of current heterosexual hookup culture is warped by capitalism, overloaded with misogyny, and direly lacking empathy. Her con......more

Goodreads review by Haley on December 16, 2023

(I was determined to read/listen to this book after Leah Libresco Sargeant interviewed the author for her Other Feminisms substack. An interesting discussion for anyone interested in listening!) Consent is not enough. Through numerous interviews Emba shares, we see that consent has become an importan......more

Goodreads review by Margaret on April 07, 2022

I have read and listened to several interviews with Christine Emba lately, and this is definitely one of those times where if you've read a couple good interviews you don't really need to read the book. I found this to be a rather discouraging read, and while I agree with Emba that there are lots of......more


Quotes

“It’s rare that a book hits the cultural moment with the precision of Rethinking Sex. Exploring very new attitudes toward this very old act, Christine Emba finds an entirely changed landscape from even a few years ago. Casual sex no longer prevails, “catching feelings” isn't a cause for embarrassment, and even though the kids’ aren’t alright at the moment, there is much cause for optimism.” –Vanessa Grigoriadis, author of Blurred Lines

Rethinking Sex is an overdue attempt at writing down the very real frustrations that many have with today’s mating market, warped as it has become by cheap sex, marital substitutes, and all the other reasons that drive us away from the formation of the permanent relationships so many crave. The market mentality is entrenched, but Emba points readers to toward the way out.” –Mark Regnerus, author of Cheap Sex