How to Know a Person, David Brooks
How to Know a Person, David Brooks
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How to Know a Person
The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

Author: David Brooks

Narrator: David Brooks

Unabridged: 7 hr 27 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 10/24/2023


Synopsis

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person and fostering deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

“More than a guide to better conversations, it’s a blueprint for a more connected and humane way of living. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and broaden their perspectives.”—Bill Gates, GatesNotes (Summer Reading Pick)

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet all around are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing essential questions: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them and, in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

About The Author

David Brooks is one of the nation’s leading writers and commentators. He is an op-ed columnist for The New York Times, a writer for The Atlantic, and appears regularly on PBS Newshour. He is the bestselling author of The Second Mountain, The Road to Character, The Social Animal, Bobos in Paradise, and On Paradise Drive.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Rebecca on November 19, 2023

I have a confession: I love psychology, but I can't stand self-help or pop psychology books. Invariably, they fall into one of two traps: "no, duh," or "that makes a lot of sense ... in theory ... but I have no freaking clue how to put that into practice." While the premise of such books is usually......more

Goodreads review by Bill on December 03, 2024

My mom believed that connecting with others was a skill that had to be cultivated, even (or perhaps especially) for an introverted kid like me. Reading this new book by David Brooks, I ended up thinking a lot about that. The key premise is that conversational and social skills aren’t just innate tra......more

Goodreads review by Kyle on September 18, 2024

There are a lot of strange generalizations and unreferenced assertions in this book. There are jibes at cosmetics: "people who have botox injections and can't furrow their brows are less able to perceive other people's worry because they can't physically react to it". There are facile over-simplific......more

Goodreads review by Wick on November 20, 2023

This is a lovely book from a lovely man about how to connect deeper to people in many different social settings from acquaintances to your spouse. I believe one of the greatest sources of political and social discord we have is that people are incapable of connecting with someone and any attempt to......more

Goodreads review by Matt on January 30, 2025

When we start a pastoral internship at River City Baptist, Part 1 will be required reading.......more


Quotes

Praise for the works of David Brooks

The Second Mountain

“Deeply moving, frequently eloquent and extraordinarily incisive.”The Washington Post

The Road to Character

“David Brooks’s gift—as he might put it in his swift, engaging way—is for making obscure but potent social studies research accessible and even startling.”The New York Times Book Review

“A powerful, haunting book that works its way beneath your skin.”—The Guardian

“Original and eye-opening . . . Brooks is a normative version of Malcolm Gladwell, culling from a wide array of scientists and thinkers to weave an idea bigger than the sum of its parts.”USA Today

The Social Animal

“Provocative and fascinating . . . seeks to do nothing less than revolutionize our notions about how we function and conduct our lives.”The Philadelphia Inquirer

“Brooks’s considerable achievement comes in his ability to elevate the unseen aspects of private experience into a vigorous and challenging conversation about what we all share.”San Francisco Chronicle