You Wanna Be on Top?, Sarah Hartshorne
You Wanna Be on Top?, Sarah Hartshorne
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You Wanna Be on Top?
A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top Model

Author: Sarah Hartshorne

Narrator: Sarah Hartshorne

Unabridged: 7 hr 26 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 07/08/2025


Synopsis

Go behind the scenes of America’s Next Top Model with this powerful memoir that reveals the manipulation and chaos driving the iconic but deeply flawed reality competition show—from a fan favorite contestant.

“Juicy, nostalgic, entertaining, and disturbing, You Wanna Be on Top? is the America’s Next Top Model exposé I didn’t know I needed.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of Cultish

Tyra Banks’s America’s Next Top Model was a cultural phenomenon with more than six million weekly viewers at its peak. Over its fifteen-year run, the show captured the glitz of the early aughts as well as its most toxic attitudes—from the glamorous but often questionable photo shoots to the cutting feedback from its highly respected if out-of-touch judges. But as its fans have grown up and as the next generation discovers ANTM, they’ve also begun to reckon with the enduring ways that the show has affected their body image and self-esteem.

Sarah Hartshorne would have never guessed that her first foray into modeling would start with being blindfolded alongside three dozen other girls on a charter bus winding through Puerto Rico. In You Wanna Be On Top?, Cycle 9’s only plus-size contestant takes us into the heart of the unforgiving auditions; the labyrinthian cruise ship the girls weren’t allowed to enjoy; and, of course, the L.A. “model house” teeming with hidden cameras and elaborately constructed tensions. As the season unfolds and the producers’ interview questions about her weight and her opinions of the other girls become increasingly pointed, Hartshorne uncovers the destabilizing methods employed to film “reality.”

Drawing on her experience as well as interviews with other contestants and production crew, Hartshorne answers the questions you always wanted to ask: Why didn’t the house have a microwave or a dishwasher? Why did girls regularly faint during eliminations? Which judge was the meanest off camera? Why is it that the girls had their most meaningful conversations in closets? (Answer: It was the one place camera crews couldn’t fit.)

With tender honesty and sharp wit, Hartshorne dissects the iconic show with an unflinching gaze that refuses to smize.

About The Author

Sarah Hartshorne is a writer, comedian, and content creator. She was the plus-size contestant on Cycle 9 of America’s Next Top Model. After the show, she modeled all over the world for clients like Glamour, Vogue, Skechers, and more. She’s written about her experiences with plus-size modeling, travel, and body image for The Guardian, Gawker, and Teen Vogue. She lives in New York City with her husband and daughter.


Reviews

Goodreads review by OutlawPoet on December 30, 2024

I have no shame. I revel in bad reality competition shows. How bad? I remember things like ‘Who want’s to marry Harry’ and ‘Who’s your Daddy?’ with nostalgic fondness. I believe people should sashay away and not be there to make friends. And, yes, I adored America’s Next Top Model – toxicity and all.......more

Goodreads review by ambersometimesreads on August 05, 2025

this was SUCH a good memoir. if you've ever been curious what happens behind the scenes of reality shows, specifically americas next top model, you need to read this. I can't believe the producers got away with treating the girls this way. I expected it to be bad but not THAT bad. Sarah did such an......more

Goodreads review by Paige on April 16, 2025

As an avid watcher of America's Next Top Model back in the day, I will happily read anything that comes out about contestants' experiences on the show, because everything they were put through was WILD. I think we can all look back at it now and recognize how much toxicity there clearly was on that......more

Goodreads review by Kaitlyn on July 04, 2025

I literally read this in one sitting. You definitely have to be interested and have watched America’s Next Top Model to have loved this as much as I did. A great look into the cult-like, toxic environment of the show and I’m sure many other reality shows. I appreciated Hartshorne’s vulnerability and......more

Goodreads review by Samantha on June 09, 2025

As someone who has seen every cycle of America's Next Top Model (more than once), I was absolutely the target audience for this book. It did not disappoint. Such a thoughtful examination of the experience of being on a reality show and all that entailed. Sarah's writing is sharp and her narration of......more


Quotes

“A delicious, hilariously relatable behind-the-scenes memoir. A page-turning lark turns into an internal (rather than external) makeover.”—Maria Bamford, New York Times bestselling author of Sure, I'll Join Your Cult

“Juicy, nostalgic, entertaining, and disturbing, You Wanna Be on Top? is the America’s Next Top Model exposé I didn’t know I needed. For any adolescent of the mid-aughts, this book is required reading.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut

You Wanna Be On Top is a wild ride. Sarah Hartshorne’s journey from ‘plus-size model to plus-size person’ will make you laugh, move you to tears, and fill you with rage. This is an unflinching and fearless account of what it takes to make ‘good TV’ and find yourself again in the aftermath.”—Aubrey Gordon, New York Times bestselling author of You Just Need to Lose Weight

You Wanna Be on Top? takes a frank and philosophical look at the chaos undergirding the production of America’s Next Top Model. Hartshorne is refreshingly candid about the poisonous dysfunction of the reality show world, but she never takes the easy way out by making her fellow competitors into caricatures or the crew members into villains. In her funny, thoughtful telling, the show comes alive in a whole new way.”—Rax King, author of Tacky

“Reading You Wanna Be on Top? is like listening to your most talented and humorous friend reveal an extraordinary secret about their lives. Hartshorne’s memoir is funny yet stealthily powerful and imparts a deep compassion for those who have to exist in a world that feels like it was not built for them.”—Youngmi Mayer, author of I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying

“Fans of America’s Next Top Model will appreciate this unvarnished peek behind the curtain. It’s equal parts upsetting and entertaining.”—Publishers Weekly

You Wanna Be on Top? is wry and gossipy and fun, and Hartshorne is a great narrator.”Lit Hub