Wired for Connection
The counterintuitive lessons a therapist learned from her clients

Wired for Connection are the lessons clients taught a therapist over a career about love, courage, vulnerability, shame and authenticityTherapists learn and grow from therapy with clients--and now you can too! Carolyn graduated from counselling school with a ton of head knowledge. Carolyn read 1000’s of pages and written hundreds more and learned the models and the approaches in the books. Did this therapist know enough to actually help people?Turns out she didn’t.That’s where her clients come in. They taught her about life, about therapy, and about relationships.So much of what clients taught her was paradoxical. Actually, they didn’t teach her—the most important lessons in life are better caught than taught. The lessons were counterintuitive to conventional relationship wisdom.Together they learned the way to real relationships was messiness, mistakes and discomfort. They noticed the route to acceptance was authenticity, that tears make life better, and that raw courage is often about tender things like saying, “I’m sorry” and “I love you”. And so much more.Relationships are hard—but we are wired for them. We are wired for struggle and growth. Watching people struggle with their own lives has inspired her to struggle and grow in hers.Relationships are hard for us all. But if we show up to connect, and we do it anything like right, we learn from each other. We learn from each other in ways that surprise and delight us.We are wired for connection.