Regretting Motherhood, Orna Donath
Regretting Motherhood, Orna Donath
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Regretting Motherhood
A Study

Author: Orna Donath

Narrator: Mandy Kaplan

Unabridged: 6 hr 22 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 02/27/2018


Synopsis

A provocative and deeply important study of women’s lives, women’s choices—and an ‘unspoken taboo’—that questions the societal pressures forcing women into motherhood
 
Women who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they will regret their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about the possibility that the opposite might also be true—that women who have children might regret it. Drawing on years of research interviewing women from a variety of socioeconomic, educational, and professional backgrounds, sociologist Orna Donath treats regret as a feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to consider whether alternative paths for women currently are blocked off. She asks that we pay attention to what is forbidden by rules governing motherhood, time, and emotion, including the cultural assumption that motherhood is a “natural” role for women—for the sake of all women, not just those who regret becoming mothers.

If we are disturbed by the idea that a woman might regret becoming a mother, Donath says, our response should not be to silence and shame these women; rather, we need to ask honest and difficult questions about how society pushes women into motherhood and why those who reconsider it are still seen as a danger to the status quo. Groundbreaking, thoughtful, and provocative, this is an especially needed book in our current political climate, as women's reproductive rights continue to be at the forefront of national debates.

About The Author

ORNA DONATH is a sociologist and anthropologist whose work focuses on reproduction, motherhood, and non-motherhood; she currently lectures at several universities in Israel. Her previous book, Making a Choice: Being Childfree in Israel, was published in 2011. Donath has also served as chair of the Hasharon Rape Crisis Center in Raanana, where she continues to volunteer.MANDY KAPLAN is an actress, voice-over artist, singer, producer, and Golden Girls expert living in Los Angeles with her husband and son. She has appeared on numerous TV shows. Aside from writing, producing, and starring in her feature film comedy, Mandy spends her time in her cozy studio recording books, commercials, and more … mostly in her pajamas!


Reviews

Goodreads review by Thomas on October 22, 2021

One of the most intelligent books I have read in a while, I so appreciated Orna Donath’s forward feminist perspective in Regretting Motherhood. In this book, she presents a sociological study she conducted in which she interviewed several women who regretted their decision to become mothers. I loved......more

Goodreads review by María on March 04, 2020

Un maravilloso manifiesto feminista que -creo- no dejará indiferente a nadie. La autora pone sobre la mesa el gran tabú: madres arrepentidas. Ante semejante título muchas personas alzan las cejas y hasta mi propia madre exclamó: ¡Por Dios! Un ensayo controvertido que saca a luz la censura que sufren......more

Goodreads review by Laura on May 21, 2020

Donath’s distinction between roles and relationships was the most thought-provoking section of research here, in my opinion. As long as we frame motherhood as a role, with a rigid set of expectations that mothers are just implicitly expected to be good at, rather than an ever-evolving relationship t......more

Goodreads review by Choirstaidh on February 28, 2024

The thing is, this is a great resource that may help you make decisions if you’re undecided about motherhood. It is sometimes shocking, and always earnest and brave. For that, I would give it a four star rating. I struggled enormously to finish this book, because it is a study that focusses heavily......more

Goodreads review by Liz on July 30, 2017

This is an incredibly important book which gives voice to an experience that is still the ultimate taboo in society, women who regret becoming mothers. It reminded me of The Feminine Mystique, which similarly used women's personal narratives to break down assumptions about what a fulfilling life sho......more


Quotes

“Donath breaks open what she describes as an ‘unspoken taboo,’ bringing the notion that women regret becoming mothers into the public discourse with her latest research.… The most valuable elements of the book are the different perspectives provided by the interviews, which reflect a striking amount of self-awareness (and, often, suffering) from women who have otherwise largely kept silent.”
—Publishers Weekly 

"Forthrightly feminist ... Donath’s study fills a gap in discussions of women’s lives and choices. While it will undoubtedly be a hard pill for many to swallow, it is also a necessary one."
—Foreword Reviews


"Donath carves out a much-needed space for these women to share, in their own words, stories about how they got to where they are, and how they manage now. Mixed in with these interviews is analysis by Donath, who expertly examines and questions the structures of a capitalistic, patriarchal society that not only contributes to women finding themselves in this position, but also prevents them from speaking about it. Many have never heard sentiments like the ones shared by Donath's interviewees—and that needs to change."
—BUST Magazine