Laid and Confused, Maria Yagoda
Laid and Confused, Maria Yagoda
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Laid and Confused
Why We Tolerate Bad Sex and How to Stop

Author: Maria Yagoda

Narrator: Maria Yagoda

Unabridged: 6 hr 16 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 05/30/2023

Synopsis

This program is read by the author.

A refreshingly honest, deeply researched, and frequently hilarious deep-dive into the cultural crisis of bad sex, as one brave sex columnist recruits the counsel of coaches, psychologists, pro-dommes, and peers in the pursuit of pleasure.

Far more alarming than the millennial “sex recession"—the phenomenon of young people having less sex than previous generations—is that we’re in the middle of a bad sex epidemic that all generations are suffering from. Despite major advances in sex education, positivity, and technology, we haven’t moved the needle on better. We’re still quietly enduring unsatisfying sex, whether that’s resigning ourselves to the same three positions we secretly hate, or lying when our Bumble date asks if we’re “close” after fifteen seconds of oral. We’ve been trained to optimize everything, except our own pleasure.

For journalist Maria Yagoda, bad sex was her villain origin story. After going viral for a column calling out bad sex on her college campus, she launched a career as a sex columnist, earning a global following for her wit, vulnerability, and expertise in her popular VICE series, Sex Machina. But even as a professional sex writer, most of the sex she was having landed somewhere between passable and “huh.” In search of understanding, she consulted sex therapists, psychologists, dominatrixes and sex toy creators, as well as young people of all genders and sexualities, putting her own sex life on the line—from hiring a sex coach to attending a “masturbation meditation” Zoom seminar—in order to pave a new path forward.

In the vein of Come as You Are for the Trick Mirror audience, Laid and Confused presents a fresh, funny, and compassionate analysis of our current sexual moment, and offers research-based tools that will empower listeners to craft the deeply pleasurable sex lives they deserve.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

About Maria Yagoda

Maria Yagoda (she/they) was born and raised in Pennsylvania. After graduating from Yale, she moved to Brooklyn, with brief stints in Naples, Italy, and Split, Croatia. Before becoming a full-time writer, she worked as a sandwich maker at a café in Williamsburg, among various other odd-jobs. She went on to work at People Magazine and launch a sex column, Sex Machina, at Vice. She is now a senior editor at Food & Wine Magazine. She lives in East Williamsburg with her traumatized Chihuahua mix, Bucatina, and her Nintendo Switch. She suffers from depression and enjoys yoga, Succession, and Vietnamese food.

Reviews

Goodreads review by Lexi

This was...okay. I want to get out of the way before anything else that this book does not have a lot of science in it. The book is compared to 'Come as You Are' which, while full of warm fuzzies, is still a book about science. Laid and Confused is a series of essay-style reflections on sex culture.......more

Goodreads review by Rick

This reads like untreated neuroticism blended with a 22 year old discovering boundaries for the first time. Regurgitating wisdom and research from others as profound when in reality it’s just kind of decent advice. It’s fine. There’s a dozen other books that have done everything in here better thoug......more

Goodreads review by Katie

This was more of a book about what someone thinks, not really a researched book about bad sex or about any kind of research. Unfortunately.......more

Goodreads review by Catherine

this is a non-fiction about factors contributing to the 'sex recession' we find ourselves in. Maria Yagoda pulls from studies about sexual education (and other associated topics), her own experience, and that of the people she's interviewed. the main message comes down to why do we, as a society/gen......more

Quotes

“Goofy, inclusive, and cheekily affirming, Laid and Confused digs into sexuality and pleasure with all the charm that made author Maria Yagoda’s Sex Machina column at VICE so beloved.” --Autostraddle

“Yagoda’s message is empowering, and her honesty will quickly win readers’ trust. Those seeking a more fulfilling sex life will find this entry affirming.” –Publishers Weekly

"A warm, honest, and insightful look at today's bad sex crisis: how we got here and how to make it out alive, one mindful masturbation session at a time. Required reading for Generation X to Z, and everyone in between." --Alyssa Shelasky, editor of NYMag's "Sex Diaries" and author of This Might Be Too Personal

"An extraordinarily informative, inclusive, and entertaining book...Complete with both poignancy and humor, I found myself both nodding along and laughing out loud as I read this masterpiece. This book will spur you to think about why we tolerate bad sex—and importantly, to embrace pleasure as a fundamental human right.” –Laurie Mintz, licensed psychologist, certified sex-therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How To Get It

“Maria Yagoda started writing about sex when she was at Yale and ten years later is still at it. In Laid and Confused: Why We Tolerate Bad Sex and How to Stop, Maria admits that after all that she's learned there's still more to find out and uses her own experiences to illuminate the path away from bad sex for her readers.” –Dr. Ruth K Westheimer

“Each paragraph felt so familiar it was almost eerie. Funny, personal, and insightful in equal measure. Half talking to your best friend and half like hearing the things you can't even talk to your best friend about. I wish I could force everyone I know to read this book!” --Sophia Benoit, author of Well, This is Exhausting

“Maria Yagoda's witty, moving writing is a breath of fresh air in the frankly unsexy age we find ourselves in at the moment...a timely, funny, and deeply personal guide to getting what you want out of your sex life.” –JP Brammer, author of ¡Hola Papi!: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons

“LAID AND CONFUSED confirms Maria Yagoda as one of the wisest, wittiest, and warmest writers about sexuality around. Spending time with Yagoda’s versatile voice is like having a conversation with your favorite friend, the one who can chat feminism, Foucault, kink, and the Bachelor with ease. You may even leave these pages better equipped to live your best (sex) life.” –Sanjena Sathian, author of Gold Diggers

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