Life was tragic enough before this spring started. With a distinct lack of boobage and an arse so big that birds of prey could nest within its shadows, Jess Jordan is saddled with the Goddess Flora for a best friend, a Britney Spears look-alike so gorgeous that one grain of her divine dandruff could make the blind see again. Jess knows that her soul mate is Ben Jones, a divine mixture of Leonardo diCaprio, Prince William, and Brad Pitt who oozes mystery and charisma. But the campaign to get Ben to notice her brings on a cavalcade of mortification and disaster, including, but not limited to, a minestrone soup explosion that takes place in her bra and a schoolwide viewing of a videotape that features a topless Jess referring to her breasts as “Bonnie” and “Clyde.”
Meanwhile, Jess’s death-obsessed Granny moves into her bedroom, along with her grandfather’s remains; her hypochondriac dad, who sends her daily “horrorscopes” like “You will fall asleep with your mouth open, and a family of earwigs will move in,” acts strange about Jess staying with him this summer; and her longtime friend Fred, a television violence addict and closet thumbsucker, has decided that he can’t stand being around her. Jess is determined to make things right . . . but with her offbeat sense of humor and her wildly active imagination, things get complicated along the way.
After abandoning a life full of deception and mistrust, fifteen-year-old Cadel has finally found his niche. He has a proper home, good friends, and loving parents. He’s even studying at a real university. But he’...
Get your tissues ready for this unrequited love story that’s equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking and will appeal to fans of Jennifer Niven, John Green, and Jesse Andrews. Seriously, how can you see a person nearly every day of your ...
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under...
Samantha Madison is just your average disenfranchised sophomore gal living in DC when, in an inadvertent moment sandwiched between cookie buying and CD-perusing, she puts a stop to an attempt on the life of the president. Before she can say “...
Something’s rotten in Apple country!Hildy Biddle is a high school reporter eager to stand up for the truth. She’s just waiting for a chance to prove herself as a journalist, and yearning for a big story. The trouble is, the town’s ...
Just when things were going so well.Jess had the perfect summer planned: She and Fred, lounging in the park, gazing into one another’s eyes and engaging in witty repartee. It was going to be so romantic. And then her maddening mum stepped in: ...
Just because Mel lives in New Whitby, a city founded by vampires, doesn't mean she knows any of the blood-drinking undead personally. They stay in their part of town; she says in hers. Until the day a vampire shows up at her high school. Worse yet, ...
Carl Hiaasen serves up his unique brand of swamp justice in the New York Times bestseller Skink—No Surrender. A National Book Award Longlist Selection When your cousin goes missing under suspicious circumstances, who do you call?...
A reluctant Mafia prince . . .Vince Luca is just like any other high school guy. His best friend, Alex, is trying to score vicariously through him; his brother is a giant pain; and his father keeps bugging him to get motivated. There is just one t...
