BoyMom, Ruth Whippman
BoyMom, Ruth Whippman
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BoyMom
Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity

Author: Ruth Whippman

Narrator: Ruth Whippman

Unabridged: 10 hr 23 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 06/04/2024


Synopsis

Combining painfully honest memoir, cultural analysis, and reporting, BoyMom is a humorous and heartbreaking deep dive into the complexities of raising boys in our fraught political moment.

“Rapist, school-shooter, incel, man-child, interrupter, mansplainer, boob-starer, birthday forgetter, frat boy, dude-bro, homophobe, self-important stoner, emotional-labor abstainer, non-wiper of kitchen counters. Trying to raise good sons suddenly felt like a hopeless task.”
  
As the culture wars rage, and masculinity has been politicized from all sides, feminist writer and mother of three boys Ruth Whippman finds herself conflicted and scared. While the right pushes a dangerous vision of fantasy manhood, her feminist peers often dismiss boys as little more than entitled predators-in-waiting.  Meanwhile her home life feels like a daily confrontation with the triumph of nature over nurture. 
  
With young men in the grip of a loneliness epidemic and dying by suicide at a rate of nearly four times their female peers, Whippman asks: How do we raise our sons to have a healthy sense of self without turning them into privileged assholes? How can we find a feminism that holds boys to a higher standard but still treats them with empathy? And what do we do when our boys won’t cooperate with our plans?
 
Whippman digs into the impossibly contradictory pressures boys now face; and the harmful blind spots of male socialization that are leaving boys isolated, emotionally repressed, and adrift. Feminist gonzo-style, she spends months interviewing incels, reports on a conference for boys accused of sexual assault; crashes at a residential therapy center for young men in Utah, talks to a wide range of psychologists and other experts, and gets boys of all backgrounds to open up about sex, consent, porn, body image, mental health, cancel culture, screens, friendship and loneliness. Along the way, she finds her simple certainties about male privilege seriously challenged.
  
With wit, honesty, and a refusal to settle for easy answers, BoyMom charts a new path to give boys a healthier, more expansive, and fulfilling story about their own lives.

About The Author

Ruth Whippman is a British author, journalist and cultural critic living in the United States. A former BBC documentary director and producer, her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Time magazine, New York magazine, The Guardian, HuffPost, and elsewhere. Fortune described her as one of the "25 sharpest minds" of the decade. She is the author of the book America the Anxious, which was a New York Post Best Book of the Year, a New York Times Editors Choice and Paperback Row pick.  She lives in California with her husband and three sons.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Michael on June 13, 2024

I think, talk, and write a lot about masculinity—how we're raised, what society expects from us, what's valued and what's not. It's fascinating to contrast my boyhood to my 13-year-old son's, who's growing up during a different time in a place polar opposite to where I grew up. And yet... I see so m......more

Goodreads review by erforscherin on September 27, 2024

Frustrating, in that this book could have been so much more. BoyMom touches on so many issues I’ve been thinking deeply about, but… then kind of punts on the analysis, making it a very anxiety-provoking but unsatisfying read (okay, yes, I know this, but where are the answers?) I wish we could have s......more

Goodreads review by Kailey on May 31, 2024

Whippman has done a fantastic job of exploring topics that are very pertinent for mothers (really any parent) trying to raise their boys. From infancy to young adulthood she addresses a wide scope of issues; screentime, incels, sexuality and consent, interpersonal relationships. She does this in a t......more

Goodreads review by Jes on September 25, 2024

I can’t believe they called this book BoyMom, which is such a lame title I almost didn’t pick it up. I think it’s tongue in cheek but STILL, lol. This was good and, like all the books I’ve read about boyhood and parenting boys, made me cry. Not the best of the bunch that I’ve read (How To Raise A Bo......more

Goodreads review by Elizabeth on November 19, 2024

It's almost as if patriarchy harms everyone.........more


Quotes

BoyMom is funny, heartrending, and revelatory. Ruth Whippman manages to deliver both an important contribution to the feminist literature and an emotive page-turner. . . . A must-read.”—Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play

“Provocative and probing . . . Ruth Whippman investigates the changing orthodoxies of American manhood. She discovers loneliness and failed good intentions but also a longing for connection and moments of grace. Whippman shows us that we ought to think harder about who we want our boys to become.”—Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing Up Bébé

“Weaving her moving journey as a mother to three sons through a remarkably lucid review of child development and masculinity literatures, Whippman offers a powerful critique of our contemporary model for raising boys.”—Michael Reichert, author of How to Raise a Boy

“This book challenged and educated me, gave me hope while refusing easy answers. . . . A necessary addition to the canon of motherhood books.”—Amanda Montei, author of Touched Out

“This evocative and deeply reported account shines a light through the darkness of societal rules that limit boys from connecting with their full humanity, and offers a road map for how to work together for liberation. I loved it.”—Devorah Heitner, author of Growing Up in Public

BoyMom is a revelation. So relatable, funny, and engaging—full of eye-opening insights that will transform my parenting.”—Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes

“A fabulous and much-needed book.”—Pragya Agarwal, author of Sway and M(otherhood)
 
“Ruth Whippman is a rare talent with an even rarer set of skills, deftly combining forensic academic research, dazzling wit and disarmingly punchy prose that leaps from the page and leaves you wondering how something so clever and so urgent can be so much fun to read.”—Charlotte Philby, author of Part of the Family, A Double Life, and Edith and Kim
 
“A scathing indictment of the harmful ways masculinity impacts the lives of boys and men . . . Every mother of boys will relate.”—Minna Dubin, author of Mom Rage
 
“Whippman takes readers on a deeply reported and eye-opening journey through the perilous landscape of modern masculinity. She skillfully upends limiting stereotypes along the way and shows how caring, intimacy and relationships make possible richer lives for all genders.”—Brigid Schulte, New York Times bestselling author of Overwhelmed and director of The Better Life Lab

“Whippman is a gifted writer: funny, smart, vulnerable, and wise.  This wonderful and timely book provides much-needed insight for anyone with a stake in the future of boys and men.”—Joshua Coleman, author of Rules of Estrangement