Bill The Vampire, Rick Gualtieri
Bill The Vampire, Rick Gualtieri
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Bill The Vampire
A Horror Comedy

Author: Rick Gualtieri

Narrator: Christopher John Fetherolf

Unabridged: 7 hr 40 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Freewill Press

Published: 12/23/2013


Synopsis

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE’S NOT ONE OF THEM.My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life, but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did.Problem is, I didn't stay dead.Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger and faster – not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me.It might be because he can’t control me like the rest, or maybe it’s because he’s a dick. Either way, he's given me ninety days to prove I'm not an embarrassment to his coven. If I fail, my ass is toast, but I’ll need help if I want to survive. Too bad my roommates are more interested in setting me on fire, while Sally’s just using me to further her own agenda - whatever the hell that is.Needless to say, things don't look good. I may be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but I'm still at the bottom of the food chain.----------Bram Stoker meets Shaun of the Dead in Bill The Vampire – book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that’ll leave you thirsting for more.If you're a fan of Christopher Moore, Jim Butcher, or What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from dusk till dawn.Don’t miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to die laughing.
Content Warning: This book contains violence, gore, crude humor, and a buttload of swearing.

About Rick Gualtieri

Rick Gualtieri loves adventure, snarky dialogue, and mayhem. So it's only natural that his bestselling Tome of Bill series kicks the mired status quo of vampire fiction straight in the teeth with its mix of supernatural chaos and geeky humor. It's time to make fantasy fun again.

Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them-Defilers Beware!


Reviews

Goodreads review by Mr. Matt on October 26, 2014

Bill The Vampire is Dinner for Schmucks meets True Blood. Bill Ryder is a nice, quiet guy. He keeps to himself. By day he is a programmer in a NYC game company. By night he plays online games and the occasional session of Dungeons & Dragons. He's a bit socially awkward and a few pounds overweight. S......more

Goodreads review by Thomas on June 06, 2016

This was readable, but way too long. Revenge of the Nerds meets Return of the Living Dead (the author suggested other horror/comedies, but I don't agree. Besides, I like RotLD). College/nerd humor complete with all the homophobia and sex obsession and quite an awful ending. Despite some Seinfeld-humo......more

Goodreads review by Jill on July 04, 2014

It was an interesting story and well written, but I had a hard time with wanting to cheer for the protagonist. All the characters seemed to be similar, sure there were minute differences, but all the men were a-holes, the "bad guys" were jock a-holes while the "good guys" were nerd a-holes. All the......more