At Dark, I Become Loathsome, Eric LaRocca
At Dark, I Become Loathsome, Eric LaRocca
List: $19.95 | Sale: $13.97
Club: $9.97

At Dark, I Become Loathsome

Author: Eric LaRocca

Narrator: Andrew Eiden

Unabridged: 4 hr 51 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Big Bald Head

Published: 01/28/2025

Includes: Bonus Material Bonus Material Included


Synopsis

From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.

About Eric LaRocca

Eric LaRocca (he/they) is a three-time Bram Stoker Award finalist and Splatterpunk Award winner. He was named by Esquire as one of the “Writers Shaping Horror’s Next Golden Age” and praised by Locus as “one of the strongest and most unique voices in contemporary horror fiction.” LaRocca’s notable works include Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last SpokeEverything the Darkness Eats, and At Dark, I Become Loathsome. He currently resides in Boston, Massachusetts, with his partner.

About Andrew Eiden

Andrew Eiden is an audiobook narrator who came from a long line of theater folk and has been acting since the age of four. He has starred in dozens of commercials as well as multiple television shows. At the age of eleven, he won first place in a local drama festival, which jumpstarted his acting career. He has performed in theaters ranging from the Glendale Center Theater to the Pasadena Playhouse.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Court on March 24, 2025

I’ll be right back. I have to take a quick shower before I write this review… Ok, I’m back… all purified now Slight in size and scope, but considerable in impact, this book hits hard, and is disturbingly poignant. A dedication to anyone dealing with inescapable inner-torment, who doesn’t know how to p......more

Goodreads review by Sadie on February 11, 2025

Title/Author: At Dark, I Become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca Page Count: 240 pages (my arc was 165) Publisher: Blackstone Format: physical, paperback arc Other Books I Enjoyed by This Author: Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes, The Trees Grew Because I Bled There, You've Los......more

Goodreads review by Katie on January 06, 2025

This is by far the most 'novel' feeling work from Eric LaRocca. It didn't feel like a short story and it breached the confines of a novella. It is most similar in structure to Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke but half as gross, and half as weird - in my opinion. This is sad. Point blank.......more

Goodreads review by Susan Kay on February 07, 2025

Ashley is struggling, has been for some time, with the death of his wife, followed by the abduction of his son. He has been grieving for a long time, and things have definitely taken a dark and disturbing path. This was my first La Rocca. I can see now how ratings for them seem to be all over the ma......more

Goodreads review by Jan on January 03, 2025

some points felt a bit discombobulated but overall, the writing was lyrical, in the darkest way, and there were so many scenes that made my jaw drop to hell, including that ending! TW: animal cruelty, suicidal ideations, depression, SA......more


Quotes

“Blacker than the blood of a fountain pen and unapologetically queer…[A] unique, relentlessly depressive, strangely sexual, and extremely violent novel about how pain changes people.” The New York Times Book Review

“Imagine when literature had the power to be profane. Imagine reading Naked Lunch when it was first unleashed. Imagine no further. Eric LaRocca is this century’s William S. Burroughs. He is a Rimbaud abomination. His writing is akin to every Season in Hell. At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a literary ritual, an unholy evocation of those unsparing authors who martyred themselves in the name of transgressive literature. To read this book is to partake in the agony and ecstasy of our poetic saints … and to burn right alongside them at the stake.” Clay McLeod Chapman, author of What Kind of Mother and Ghost Eaters

“At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a genuinely disturbing matryoshka doll of a novel that honors the tie-binding grief and our darkest impulses. This is LaRocca’s best book yet.” Paul Tremblay, bestselling author of Horror Movie

“At Dark, I Become Loathsome continues to prove that LaRocca is a master navigator of the beautiful and the grotesque, plumbing the darkest, maddest depths of the human heart and retrieving from within all the grief and all the guilt the heart can hold. If there is a greatest strength here—in a book full of them—it is that LaRocca writes with an unswerving attention to the empathy of his characters, caring about them, even when they are, as the title suggests, loathsome.” Chuck Wendig, author of The Book of Accidents and Black River Orchard

“LaRocca presents his most accessible book yet—a stunning, immersive, and relatable tale about the unbearable anguish of grief.” Library Journal (starred review)

“Brutal, breathtaking, and beautifully written, At Dark, I Become Loathsome is Eric LaRocca at his best. It broke my heart and put it back together again, leaving jagged little scars. LaRocca is a master at peeling back the layers and showing us true darkness and depravity, the loathsome monster hiding inside us all. I applaud him for his bravery, and you, dear reader, for yours.” Jennifer McMahon, New York Times bestselling author of The Winter People and My Darling Girl 

“When people think of transgressive literature, they all too often think of it as an assault on the reader: external, aggressive, alienating. What makes LaRocca’s work so effective is not only how transgressive it is but how humane it is. These are not transgressions you can stand outside of. Instead, because of his skill reeling us into close proximity with the characters, the transgressions feel intimate, almost as if we were in the process of committing them ourselves. Which makes them all the more relatable, and all the more alarming.” Brian Evenson, author of Last Days and Song for the Unraveling of the World

“With scalpel-sharp prose and an imagination bleak as a starless night sky, Eric LaRocca is the reigning king of uncompromising, decadent horror.” Tim Waggoner, author of Lord of the Feast

“LaRocca’s most unsparing book yet. At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a rich mosaic of alienation and loss that’s as tender as it is compelling and ultimately appalling. Eric LaRocca is just so very seductive when it comes to digging graves we’ll eagerly throw ourselves into.” Nat Cassidy, author of Nestlings and Mary: An Awakening of Terror

“LaRocca is a singular author, and this is a strong, ambitious, intentionally disturbing book filled with lyrical prose, stories within stories, and the title phrase repeated like a mantra.” Booklist


Awards

  • Kobo Pick
  • CinemaChords Pick
  • Audible Pick
  • ThriftBooks Pick
  • BookTrib Pick
  • Den of Geek
  • B&N Reads Pick
  • OverDrive Pick