Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone
Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone
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Difficult Conversations
How to Discuss What Matters Most

Author: Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen, Bruce Patton

Narrator: Douglas Stone

Abridged: 5 hr 40 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 07/05/2000

Synopsis

Dealing with your ex-husband, who can't seem to show up reliably for weekends with the kids; navigating a workplace fraught with office politics or racial tensions; saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you".

We all have difficult conversations, no matter how confident or competent we are. And too often, no matter what we try, things don't go well. Should you say what you're thinking and risk starting a fight? Swallow your views and feel like a doormat? Or should you let them have it? But--what if you're wrong?

Difficult Conversations shows you a way out of this dilemma; it teaches you how to handle even the toughest conversations more effectively and with less anxiety. Based on fifteen years of work at Harvard Negotiation Project and consultations with thousands of people, the authors answer the question: When people confront the conversations they dread the most, what works?

Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, step-by-step approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations. It shows you how to get ready, how to start the conversations in ways that reduce defensiveness, and how to keep the conversation on a constructive track regardless of how the other person responds.

Whether you're dealing with your baby-sitter or biggest client, your boss or your brother-in-law, Difficult Conversations can help.

About The Author

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen teach at the Harvard Law School and the Harvard Negotiation Project, the group that produced the international bestseller Getting to YES! They have consulted to businesspeople, governments, organizations, communities, and individuals around the world, from the various parties to the negotiations on constitutional transition in South Africa to schoolteachers in Medellin, Colombia, to community leaders and the police department in Springfield, Massachusetts. They have written on negotiation and communications in publications ranging from The New York Times to Parents magazine. Bruce Patton is also coauthor of Getting to YES!

Reviews

Goodreads review by Slappy on December 04, 2012

Difficult Conversations is a how-to self-help book on negotiating conflict in emotionally-loaded discussions between two people. Authored by members of the Harvard Negotiation Project (which sounds awfully prestigious), the book is lucid and accessible. A "difficult conversation," according to Stone......more

Goodreads review by Otis on August 08, 2007

I read this on a recommendation from a friend who gave it to me on a list of business books to read. But it was so much more. It gives you a great framework for thinking through why people have communication issues - whether in personal or professional relationships. The best piece of advice that stu......more

Goodreads review by Jaclyn on February 13, 2015

My husband and I both have ADHD, and that makes for some major communication challenges. This book will help anyone get a better handle on tricky interactions. It should be required reading for anyone who hasn’t done mediation or communication training (I have, but still learned a lot). Difficult Con......more

Goodreads review by Mimi on February 19, 2019

You know that book that you recommend to everyone because you feel so strongly it can help anyone change their life in profound ways? This one is mine. It sat in my book pile for years and I would pick it up and put it down. I wish I had truly read it years earlier and I wish the same for you. In ca......more

Goodreads review by Mark on May 16, 2011

Read at the insistence of my wife. I think she was trying to tell me something. Not sure what it was. Back to nerd fiction!......more

Quotes

“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.”
—The New York Times

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.”
—Booklist

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.”
—Tom Peters

“A user-friendly guide to mastering the talks we dread . . . a keeper.”
—Fast Company 

“Emotional intelligence applied to life’s toughest moments.”
—Daniel Goleman, bestselling author of Working with Emotional Intelligence

“The only people who shouldn’t read Difficult Conversations are those who never work with people, anywhere.”
—Peter M. Senge, bestselling author of The Fifth Discipline

“How do you confront your ex-spouse who’s late picking up the kids? How do you tell a client their project took longer than expected and the bill is twice as high? How do you say ‘I’m sorry’? Start by picking up Difficult Conversations.”
—Citizen

“Difficult Conversations will be appreciated by readers who wish to improve oral communication in all aspects of their daily lives.”
—Library Journal

“Stone, Patton, and Heen illustrate their points with anecdotes, scripted conversations and familiar examples in a clear, easy-to-browse format.”
—Publishers Weekly

“The central insights of Difficult Conversations so resonate with common sense that it is easy to overlook just how remarkable of a book it is . . . a must-read.”
—Harvard Negotiation Law Review

“Examples more clear-headed and advice more precise than we’ve seen before.”
—Dallas Morning News

“Stone, Patton, and Heen have written an extremely clear and unpretentious exposition of how to develop effective communication skills and a guide to achieving openness and constructive outcomes in dialogue . . . this book is, and probably for some time to come will be definitive.”
—Southern Communication Journal 

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