When Were Born We Forget Everything, Alicia Jo Rabins
When Were Born We Forget Everything, Alicia Jo Rabins
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When We're Born We Forget Everything
A Memoir

Author: Alicia Jo Rabins

Narrator: Alicia Jo Rabins

Unabridged: 8 hr 35 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 03/03/2026

Synopsis

From the creator of the internationally acclaimed singer-songwriter project Girls in Trouble, a memoir following her journey from a secular Jewish childhood to becoming a modern queer woman owning ancient teachings and finding her own meanings in them, refracted through feminist interpretations of the lives of Biblical women.

As a self-described ‘90s suburban high school weirdo, Alicia Jo Rabins spent her time practicing violin and smoking cigarettes behind the mall while secretly dreaming of setting out on a spiritual quest no one around her seemed to understand. She often found herself drawn to the more ritualistic and rigorous Judaism that her parents had abandoned to assimilate and “become American.” In college, a chance meeting led her on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem to study rabbinical texts (and play bluegrass fiddle on the street for cash). But that two years of immersing herself in traditional observance was only the start of a journey full of twists and turns.

When We’re Born We Forget Everything follows Alicia’s relentless, often embarrassing, sometimes enlightening search for the sacred in everyday life as she tours America playing with a klezmer-punk band, falls in and out of love, scrapes through the initiations of motherhood, and witnesses the beauty—and danger—of mysticism. Rabins braids this personal narrative with the hidden stories of biblical women, uncovering a path of queer identity, feminist awakening, and spiritual self-invention. This lyrical, searching memoir is a meditation on longing, lineage, and what it takes to find meaning in a fractured world.

Cover photo by Hilary Hulteen, courtesy of Annette Ezekiel Kogan

About The Author

ALICIA JO RABINS is an award-winning writer, musician, and Jewish educator. She is the author of Divinity School (winner of the APR/Honickman First Book Prize) and Fruit Geode (finalist for the National Jewish Book Award), and the creator of Girls in Trouble, a feminist indie-folk song cycle about biblical women. Her feature film A Kaddish for Bernie Madoff was called “a blessing” by The Atlantic. Rabins holds an MFA in poetry and an MA in Jewish women’s studies. She tours internationally as a performer and teacher.

Reviews

Goodreads review by Deanna on March 02, 2026

This landed for me, I enjoy memoirs because they give a peak into someone else’s experience. Someone with different experiences than me. And this was written with a level of nuance that I really appreciated.......more

Goodreads review by tillie on March 08, 2026

i really enjoyed this!!! i’m becoming more interested in memoirs (esp jewish woman memoirs) and this one had so much interesting stuff in it. so much of her life/experiences/choices felt foreign to me in such a compelling way. some highlights for me were her experience with drugs as a teen, her dram......more

Goodreads review by Demetri on February 27, 2026

In “When We’re Born We Forget Everything,” Alicia Jo Rabins Makes Holiness Out of Plumbing, Song, and the Fragile Gates of the Body By Demetris Papadimitropoulos | February 27th, 2026 Watercolor Piece by Demetris Papadimitropoulos Alicia Jo Rabins’s memoir, “When We’re Born We Forget Everything,” opens......more

Goodreads review by Melinda on March 17, 2026

When we’re Born we Forget Everything is a joy to read. The narrative is candid and approachable; Rabins seems to converse with her own perceived shortcomings as she lands (or sometimes crashes) on the stepping stones of what is sacred. Also, she’s cool and you’d want to be friends with someone who i......more

Goodreads review by Cindy on March 22, 2026

In this memoir, the author looks back on the many phases of her life of seeking out the best ways to live with her Judaism and spiritual needs while staying true to her personal values and talents. The memoir takes us through her early years in high school and college as a Dead Head, a nightly user......more

Quotes

MOST ANTICIPATED: HEY ALMA, AUTOSTRADDLE

“Seeing the world through Alicia Jo Rabins’ eyes is like peering through a diaphanous veil—everything from college hookups to CD jewel cases to fiddle busking in suburbia are rendered with a sacred glow.”
—GennaRose Nethercott, author of Thistlefoot
“Raucous, entertaining, and always authentic, When We’re Born We Forget Everything filters the pilgrimage narrative through a punk aesthetic, and what emerges on the other side gloriously upends the received strictures and obligations of that which we’ve deemed ‘holy,’ and uncovers along the way a beguiling treatise on love. Throughout, When We’re Born We Forget Everything had me plotzing with joy.”
—Matthew Gavin Frank, author of Submersed

“With the lyricism of a poet and the courage of a seeker, [Rabins] transforms the fragments of a modern life—motherhood, music, faith, desire—into a meditation on what it means to awaken to the sacred hidden in the ordinary. I loved this book, it is a wonder.”
—Nina McConigley, author of How to Commit a Postcolonial Murder

“Feminist-spelunking in the depths of the patriarchy, Alicia Jo Rabins illuminates the sacred days and nights of the art life.”
—Jolie Holland

 “From smoking cigarettes behind the mall as a ‘90s suburban high school weirdo to a pilgrimage to study rabbinical texts to touring America with a klezmer-punk band, this memoir follows an acclaimed queer Jewish singer-songwriter through a quest for spiritual re-invention.”
—Autostraddle, “Our Most Anticipated Queer Books for March 2026”

“Spiritual quester and acclaimed creator of Girls in Trouble, Rabins is a writer and performer and poet — and now a memoirist. Run don’t walk!”
 —Book and Film Globe

 “Across mediums, [Rabins’] subject is an assemblage of feminism, ancient wisdoms like the Old Testament, and her experience as a queer woman devoted to studying the Torah. Her new memoir, When We’re Born We Forget Everything, is perhaps Rabins’s most direct approach to her muse yet.”
—Portland Monthly

 “Rabins invites readers from all walks of life along on her quest for enlightenment.”
—Out South Florida
“Rabins’s unique insights emerge through her empha­sis on seek­ing as spir­i­tu­al prac­tice. . . . Rabins often orga­nizes the chap­ters of When We’re Born around a sin­gle image, defin­ing moment, or par­tic­u­lar insight from her life, then deft­ly braids these inci­dents into con­ver­sa­tion with Jew­ish tra­di­tions. . . . Compelling.”
—Julie R. Enszer, Jewish Book Council
“[Rabins’ memoir] interweaves her narrative of queer, feminist and spiritual self-realization with the stories of powerful biblical women.”
—Hey Alma, “27 Jewish Books We’re Looking Forward to in 2026”

“A lyrical, multilayered narrative. . . . The prose is musical, expansive and full of wonder. [It] is a deeply human book that locates the sacred firmly within earthly personhood. . . . [Rabins moves] through life looking into the hearts of the people and places around her, and finding beauty and holiness to a dazzling and psychedelic degree. While this may be a book of special significance to the Jewish community, in all the forms it can take, When We’re Born We Forget Everything can also be held as a balm against all the hurt places of humanity.”
—Anna Christensen, BookPage (starred review)

 “Rabins’s memoir explores her Jewish identity and braids it with her musical journey and spiritual seeking. She searches for her place in Judaism, finding solace in feminist interpretations of Biblical women and with kindred souls.”
—Jaime Herndon, Exploring Judaism

“In When We’re Born We Forget Everything, poet and musician Alicia Jo Rabins shares her journey of creating a world of music, love, study, language and care, ultimately finding her makom, her true and fitting place. She remembered everything. We are the enriched beneficiaries.”
—Rabbi Ellen Lippmann

“With the propulsive beat of her old-time fiddling, Alicia Jo Rabins’ When We’re Born, We Forget Everything exposes the heart of a great Jewish leader and her development as an educator, rebbe, and musician. These captivating vignettes offer deep insight into Rabins, the Jewish community, and our contemporary world.”
—Rabbi Burt Visotzky, Jewish Theological Seminary

“Engaging. . . . A thoughtful, tender memoir.”
—Kirkus

“Invigorating. . . . Readers drawn to stories of spiritual seeking will cherish this.”
—Publishers Weekly

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