A Marine Captain and his artist brother go on a family vacation to Sicily accompanied by their father, mother, sister, and gay uncle. When they arrive on Monday, they are informed that the brothers will be married to two women they have never met on Friday or none will leave the island alive. As they tour the island with their prospective brides they are attacked by a rival Mafia family, meet an Irish priest, a wild boar, and assorted relations. Their uncle and the priest arrange for the men to be seen by their prospective brides in bed with two gay strippers in hopes that the women will call off the wedding. No difference! They are informed by Luigi The Claw, the wedding is on Friday.