The Sex Talk You Never Got, Sam Jolman
The Sex Talk You Never Got, Sam Jolman
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The Sex Talk You Never Got
Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

Author: Sam Jolman, John Eldredge

Narrator: Sam Jolman, John Eldredge

Unabridged: 8 hr 41 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

Published: 06/11/2024


Synopsis

Read by the author. Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness.But it doesn't need to be this way. God made men to be moved, to live with wonder and awe--and sexual desire must be formed within the context of that design. Sam Jolman, a professional therapist who specializes in men's issues and sexual trauma recovery, shows men the way out of the wilds of sexual struggle. This timely and incisive book will help readerslearn about the vital link between sexual desire and their identity as worshipers;regain a wild and vigorous sexuality within the context of God's design;understand how purity culture has needlessly put men in a conflict-ridden relationship with their sexuality;see sexual purity not as the goal but as the preparation for becoming fully alive to beauty, awe, and worship; anddiscover how to trade shame and confusion for a sexuality that's filled with innocence and wonder. In the Bible, Jesus' greatest kindness was often offered to those suffering sexual harm and brokenness. He offers this same kindness today. He does not want men to repent of their sexual desire. Rather, through reconnecting sexuality with innocence and awe, God opens the door for men to experience the wild joy of desire, rightly ordered toward worship and God's good purposes for their life.

About Sam Jolman

Sam Jolman is a professional therapist with over twenty years of experience. He specializes in men's issues and sexual trauma recovery. Being a therapist has given him a front row seat to hear thousands of men and women share their stories. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help men work through and understand their stories and find freedom from sexual trauma. He received his master's in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care by Dan Allender through the Allender Center at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three young sons--the people that inspire his writing. Together they enjoy exploring the best camping spots in Colorado in their pop-up camper. Sam goes to therapy, loves mountain biking, and can often be found trying to catch his breath on the floor of his local CrossFit gym.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Ruth on June 03, 2024

Maybe the best lines in this very good book: "Some may say that lust involves looking too long and is solved by simply turning one's gaze away. But I know now the real need is to look with different eyes. Not longer but deeper. Not to stare but to behold."......more

Goodreads review by Adam on June 23, 2024

I was really wanting to rate this book at 5 stars, and there was definitely 5 star content in the book, but sadly, the author undermined his own message. First, the good. This book has an incredibly beautiful message of healing rather than fighting. He explains that men are not to simply live fighti......more

Goodreads review by Benjamin on June 11, 2024

This book belongs aside Jay Stringer's Unwanted and Zachary Wagner's Non-Toxic Masculinity as refreshing new books on a Christian pyschology/spirituality of masculine sexuality in a post-#MeToo, post-purity culture milieu. In this book, we see the insightful and attentive tenderness of Jolman as Chr......more

Goodreads review by Ethan on November 27, 2024

There seems to be no end of discussions regarding “masculinity” and “femininity” in conservative Christendom writ large. It has truly become a major obsession, one much more on account of society and culture than anything coming out of the pages of Scripture. A lot of the arguments tend to center on......more

Goodreads review by Brent on August 15, 2024

I won this book through GoodReads First Read program. This is certainly not your typical religious book dealing with sex. I think that is a good thing. I liked the ideas presented by Jolman, I just didn't think they were explained clearly. This is a book geared towards men which is important because t......more