Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old
A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong

Soon after his fiftieth birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of "things I won't do when I get old"—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then seventy-something-year-old parents were doing wrong. That list became the basis of this rousing collection of do's and don'ts, wills and won'ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don't want to age the way previous generations did. "Old people" hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they've become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4 p.m. They swear they don't need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way . . .

In Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, "I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to 'old.'" Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.