Oh, Henry

My name is Henry Walton, and though I've been called many things throughout my life—tree trunk, moose, walrus—I am now six foot five, solid muscle, and the hottest defensive end in the NFL college draft. This is the moment I've been waiting for: fame, women, and glory. Just one problem: I'm suddenly in a bad slump. And it started the moment I got dumped by Elle, the nerdy goddess with thick glasses, a smokin' hot body, and a genius IQ. So what gives? We only dated for a few weeks, and it's not like I've missed her. (Much.) Regardless, all the facts point to one conclusion. Elle is my lucky nerd-charm. So call me superstitious, but I have to get her back before I lose everything. Even if she's the last girl I should want and she now hates my guts. Contains mature themes.