How to Be an ExFootballer, Peter Crouch
How to Be an ExFootballer, Peter Crouch
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How to Be an Ex-Footballer

Author: Peter Crouch

Narrator: Simon Darwen, Peter Crouch

Unabridged: 7 hr 54 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Ebury Digital

Published: 10/27/2022


Synopsis

Brought to you by Penguin.

The funniest man in British sport - Metro

Peter Crouch is a comedy genius - Daily Mail

Often recruited before they've worn long trousers, today's footballers become superstars who earn huge amounts without ever learning much about the world beyond the training ground. Coddled by their support teams, everything is done for them. They live their lives in the glaring media spotlight, yet only really develop one life skill - how to kick a ball better. Then inevitably, when age catches up with them or injury strikes, these
man-children are thrown out into the real world, utterly defenceless apart from their multi-million-pound bank accounts.

So what do these Peter Pans, whose careers end just as most people's are getting going, do with the rest of their lives? Crouch speaks from his own experience and discusses with fellow former professionals too - just how do you safely release a near seven-foot striker back into the wild?

Peter goes in search of the answer to what his second career might be and encounters stories far more bizarre than anything you'll find on the pitch. From the pleasure and pain of management to the lessons we can learn from Jamie Carragher and Joe Cole on not going to seed. From those staying in the sport - the diehard veterans, coaches, managers, owners and of course the legion of pundits, to those moving on to pastures new. Peter talks to entrepreneurs, men of the cloth, eco warriors, artists, private detectives and budding actors, as well as those who've lost their way in addiction, crime and NFTs.

When the final whistle blows, it's still all to play for.

© 2022 Peter Crouch (P)2022 Penguin Audio

Reviews

Goodreads review by Paul on October 12, 2024

This book was a good read but moved away from the previous books formula slightly. There was still the occasional witty story and Crouchie still makes you laugh, but as he goes through the book looking at what footballers have done after leaving the game there is a more serious tone. The last chapte......more

Goodreads review by Steven on June 29, 2025

It’s a good read if you’re interested in older footballers and what they’re up to too now but for me I started to lose interest really quick.......more

Goodreads review by Paulinlong on April 18, 2024

I know very little about football apart from England won the 1966 World Cup and all the players were running around at the end of the match with their socks round their ankles to alleviate cramp. I had to listen to a lot about football because I taught in Sunderland. It’s serious business there. “My......more

Goodreads review by Rhys on July 17, 2024

Very good, but I prefer his first......more

Goodreads review by Chris on August 22, 2023

Reposted from CB Book Reviews on Instagram: [URL not allowed] As previously mentioned at the end of my first ever book review, I have happily returned for a third instalment by every football fan’s favourite robot podcast host. Similar to his previous two books, and in his typica......more


Quotes

However overpaid and preening you might assume Premier League footballers to be, think again. They're worse, according to this amusing insider's account Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year

Who knew that a footballer could be funny? ... What you realise, as you laugh out loud, is that football has been taken too seriously by too many people for too long... Most other football books wither by comparison Daily Mail Sports Book of the Year

As someone who's been there, done it and got the ill-fitting T-shirt, Crouch is well placed to shed light on the bizarre world of the modern player in a funny, down-to-earth way... He made his name on the pitch ... but with this book, Crouch proves he is a good sport off it, too Sun

On his way to being a national treasure... most enjoyable Daily Telegraph

The funniest man in British sport Metro

Peter Crouch is a comedy genius Daily Mail

One of the funniest human beings on the planet Romesh Ranganathan

Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player Sunday Times

I'm not a big book reader, I'm just not. And I've skimmed through this already and thought 'I'm gonna really, really, really, really like this. Seriously, I'm really gonna like it

I've never read a sports book before, but it is really funny