Everybody Hates Tower Dungeons

Long ago, there was a princess so fair that every lord and hero in all the land lusted for her heart, so her father did what any reasonable father would—he cut out her heart and placed it in the highest chamber of a secret tower filled with monsters and deadly traps. Those few who were wise and bold enough to solve the riddle of the tower's location and venture inside were never seen or heard from again. As the years passed, the quest appeared more and more futile. As the decades passed, it appeared to be lunacy. As the centuries passed, the princess's heart was all but forgotten . . . Until now. The Death Knight, Dan of Uptown, has been charged with an impossible ultimatum: retrieve the princess's heart—or die. Pursued by fanatical enemies, faced with a challenge too daunting for the greatest heroes of the realm, and left without options, Dan and his friends are about to find out exactly why Everybody Hates Tower Dungeons.