My Fathers Wake, Kevin Toolis
My Fathers Wake, Kevin Toolis
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My Father's Wake
How the Irish Teach Us to Live, Love, and Die

Author: Kevin Toolis

Narrator: Kevin Toolis

Unabridged: 7 hr 34 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Da Capo Press

Published: 02/27/2018

Synopsis

An intimate, lyrical look at the ancient rite of the Irish wake--and the Irish way of overcoming our fear of death

Death is a whisper for most of us. Instinctively we feel we should dim the lights, pull the curtains, and speak softly. But on a remote island off the coast of Ireland's County Mayo, death has a louder voice.

Each day, along with reports of incoming Atlantic storms, the local radio runs a daily roll call of the recently departed. The islanders go in great numbers, young and old alike, to be with their dead. They keep vigil with the corpse and the bereaved company through the long hours of the night. They dig the grave with their own hands and carry the coffin on their own shoulders. The islanders cherish the dead--and amid the sorrow, they celebrate life, too.

In My Father's Wake, acclaimed author and award-winning filmmaker Kevin Toolis unforgettably describes his own father's wake and explores the wider history and significance of this ancient and eternal Irish ritual. Perhaps we, too, can all find a better way to deal with our mortality -- by living and loving as the Irish do.

Reviews

Goodreads review by Nicole on December 15, 2017

I added the audible version to my kindle purchase and soon abandoned the written word as the author's brogue rolled over me. I think this is a book meant to be heard aloud as that best harkened back to the traditions of the older world. A beautiful memoir of death and how we would all do well to ret......more

Goodreads review by Jaimee Kate on May 30, 2021

This books poses an interesting question: if death happens every day, constantly, all around us, why do we so rarely witness it? Why do we treat the most inescapable thing as something taboo? These questions drove this personal narrative, and I enjoyed the style in which it was done. That being said......more

Goodreads review by John on May 13, 2018

I don't give out many 5 star ratings. This is an excellent book on death. It is also well written. At 75 years of age I remember when all my grandparents,aunts and uncles died they were waked at home. Everyone came,there was food,visitations,remembrances atc. atc....I have to agree with Mr Toolis th......more

Goodreads review by Laurie on March 14, 2018

Kevin Toolis has experienced a lot of deaths. As a child, he caught TB and was put in an adult ward of men with various lung diseases- cancer, TB, black lung, a veritable buffet of death. He grew up in rural Ireland, where traditional death customs linger on. His brother died as a very young man- af......more

Goodreads review by Meghan on March 29, 2018

I wholeheartedly agree with the premise of this book regarding societal treatment of death. However, the writing style did not work for me. Toolis is a good writer, don't get me wrong. It is just that I dislike lyrical, purple prose regarding scenic views and there is a significant amount of that he......more

Quotes

"The windswept Irish island of My Father's Wake is one of the final remote outposts of true death engagement in the Western world. Toolis's book is both memoir and anthropology, and serves as a refreshing counterpoint to the industrialized, for-profit death industry we've come to wrongly believe is our only option."--Caitlin Doughty, author of the New York Times bestsellers Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and From Here to Eternity

"As a boy, he learned to kiss the corpse at a traditional island wake. As a filmmaker and witness to death in many conflict zones around the world, Kevin Toolis has written a profound book on the culture of grief and death, placing the personal alongside the political in a vivid exploration of our ancient ways of coming together around the dead. This is a moving family story, a memoir of loss and exile, a deep understanding of what makes us alive, casting a cold eye on what is precious and so often denied."--Hugo Hamilton

"The 'Western Death Machine' has hidden the dead and dying, but in a remote island off the west coast of Ireland, an almost Homeric society clings to the old ways. The dying are treasured and tenderly watched over, the dead are honored with the ancient rites and rituals. Contemporary western ideas about death are dominated by individualism; My Father's Wake is a lyrical description of how community and tradition help us deal with our mortality."--Seamus O'Mahony, author of The Way We Die Now

"A heartwarming and very personal account of a life well-lived."--Irish Times

"A long meditation on death, dying, and our attitudes to mortality--our own and others'.... Toolis posits an acceptance of the inevitable which, while it does not banish the pain of grief, invests it with a resignation and a grace that is, in essence, healing and somehow life-affirming."--The Guardian

"A gut-wrenching exploration of death from an Irish perspective...A fascinating view of what most of us try not to consider: the end of life...This book is not for the faint of heart, as the experiences [Toolis] shares will leave readers emotionally raw. It is unquestionably rewarding, however, a thought-provoking argument against a sterile and industrial view of death...Intimate, eye-opening."—Kirkus (starred review)

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